Storybook Love
by loveisntsillyatall
Summary: Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles. The Princess Bride!Klaine
1. Chapter 1

The title of this fic is taken from the song "Storybook Love" by Willy DeVille. It is the song that plays during the end credits of The Princess Bride. Here's a link to the song: watch?v=AN1Ztpmzjs4

* * *

_Come my love, I'll tell you a tale,_

_Of two boys and their love story..._

Kurt was raised on a small farm in the county of Lima. His favourite pastimes were riding his horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Blaine, but he never called him that. Nothing gave Kurt as much pleasure as ordering Blaine around.

Kurt rode on his trusty steed, nearing the family farm, wind whipping by his face. There was simply nothing like this feeling. There could never be a feeling better than this one, he thought.

After dismounting his horse gracefully, Kurt turned to the farm boy. Blaine was currently cleaning out the stables. Without a doubt, Blaine would drop what he was doing and accomplish the task Kurt had in store for him instead. He always did.

"Farm boy. Polish my horse's saddle. Want to see my face shining in it by morning," Kurt told him.

"As you wish," Blaine replied, giving a nod and the tiniest of smiles.

'As you wish' was all he ever said.

Kurt thought he saw a kind of twinkle in Blaine's eyes as he said it, but it couldn't have been. He brushed it off and turned on his heels, walking up to the house.

What Kurt didn't see was the long, lingering look Blaine was giving him as he walked away...

Blaine was up early the next morning, as he is every morning, chopping wood. His sleeves were rolled up as far as they could go and beads of sweat kept rolling down his forehead and down his face. It was a very exhausting chore, but it had to be done.

Kurt came walking around the heap of wood with two large empty buckets in hand.

"Farm boy," Kurt said, "Fill these with water."

Blaine ceased his work and just stared at him. His dark curls fell near his eyes. Eyes that had that same look in them as before...

"Please." Kurt added, trying so hard to read the farm boy's face.

"As you wish."

Kurt walked back to the house, but turned to look back at Blaine.

Blaine was giving him a long, lingering look.

Then it finally hit Kurt.

That day, Kurt was amazed to discover that when Blaine was saying 'as you wish', what he meant was 'I love you'.

And even more amazing was the day Kurt realized he truly loved him back.

He had finally found a more superior feeling than riding his horse, wind whipping by his face.

Surely, it was love.

On that day of realization, Kurt was preparing a meal. The farm boy came into the house with an arm full of firewood. He set down the wood, not knowing that it was now Kurt giving him a long, lingering look. Blaine was about to leave when Kurt piped up.

"Farm boy."

Blaine paused in the doorway, looking back at the other boy. Kurt didn't know what else to say. He looked around the room for something. Anything to hear the one he loved say those three glorious words.

"Fetch me that pitcher?" he finally asked, even though it was easily within his own reach.

Blaine, ever so slowly, walked towards Kurt and the pitcher. Even as the farm boy reached for the pitcher, their eyes never broke contact. Blaine offered Kurt the item and said in a mere whisper,

"_As you wish._"

Kurt's small smile grew to a grin. He was now very familiar with that moment when you say to yourself, 'oh, there you are'.

The young men discussed their futures together. Of many things, they discussed marriage. But there was a problem with that particular topic...

Blaine had no money for marriage. So he packed his few belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the sea. It was a very emotional time for Kurt.

Blaine said goodbye to Kurt at the doorstep of the farmhouse. He had only walked about ten steps, when two arms suddenly wrapped around Blaine's waist.

"Sweetie, what is it?" Blaine's voice filled with concern.

"I fear I'll never see you again," Kurt confessed. Blaine held his darling in his arms, to comfort him.

"Of course you will," reassured Blaine.

"But what if something happens to you?" The noticeable shakiness in Kurt's voice pained Blaine's heart. He stared into Kurt's eyes, hoping that Kurt could read in his eyes what he felt in his heart.

"Hear this now. I will _always_ come for you."

"But how can you be sure?"

"This is true love. You think this happens everyday?" Blaine said with a smile of utter certainty. His smile was contagious, as his love was smiling back at him. Kurt was convinced. The two shared a passionate kiss goodbye before Blaine departed. He swung his bag over his shoulder and set off down the country road. Yes, Kurt thought, my dearest love will come for me...

Blaine didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Puck, who never left captives alive. When Kurt got the news that Blaine was murdered, he went into his room and shut the door. For days, he neither slept nor ate.

"I will never love again."


	2. Chapter 2

_Now this did happen once apon a time,__  
__When things were not so complex..._

Five years later, the main square of Lima City was filled as never before, to hear the announcement of the great Prince Karofsky's husband to be.

Trumpets sounded, making known that their Prince was ready to tell of the grand news.

"My people," Prince Karofsky called out to the public. He was looking down on them from a tower that overlooked the main square. "A month from now, our country will have its five hundredth anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a man who was once a commoner like yourselves. But perhaps you will not find him _common_ now. Would you like to meet him?"

"Yes!" The townspeople shouted collectively, in support of seeing their other future king.

"My people, the prince, Kurt!"

Again the trumpets sounded, while Kurt made his way down a red velvet carpet. He looked absolutely dashing.

The subjects of Lima kneeled before him. They were in complete awe of Kurt's beauty. One would expect someone in Kurt's position to be beaming with pride. But he did not care to become a prince. This was all truly meaningless to Kurt.

Kurt's emptiness consumed him. Although the law of the land gave Karofsky the right to choose his husband, Kurt did not love him.

Despite Karofsky's reassurance that he would grow to love him, the only joy he found was in his daily ride.

He would ride his horse far, far away from the castle and anything to do with Karofsky and his royal family. Then, and only then, was when his mind was the clearest.

Kurt and his steed were nearing their beloved and charming spot by the river where they would purely think and ponder and just _be_.

But he noticed there were strangers occupying his area. Three of them. One was a young Asian man who had his hand glued to his sword. The other was a tall, large lipped, blonde fellow with muscles to certainly be reckoned with. Finally, was a skinny, and terribly attractive young man. He had brown hair and greenish-hazel eyes that seemed to hold an aura of mischief.

"A word, good sir?" asked the attractive, mischievous one."We are but poor, lost choir boys. Is there a village nearby?'

"There is nothing nearby. Not for miles," Kurt politely informed him.

"Then there will be no one to here you scream."

The trouty-mouthed boy made his way up to Kurt and his horse. Kurt was about to scream, when the blonde stranger squeezed a place on his neck that rendered him unconscious.

"What is that you're ripping?" asked the Asian boy from the crew's small ship, docked by the river.

"It's fabric from the uniform of an army officer of Westerville," said the mischievous-looking leader of the group. He tied the ripped piece of fabric onto the saddle of Kurt's horse.

"Who's Westerville?" asked the blonde boy, carrying the currently unconscious body that was Kurt, onto the ship.

"The country across the sea! The sworn enemy of Lima!" It was like talking to a couple of morons. "Go!" he shouted at the horse, which then rapidly galloped away. "Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Westervillians have abducted his love. When he finds his body dead on the Westerville frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed." He seemed so proud of his evil scheme. His smile curled at the thought of his master plan.

"You never said anything about killing anyone..." mentioned the trouty blonde.

"I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition." the mischievous one replied simply.

"I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent boy."

"Am I going mad? Or did the word _think_ escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass."

"I agree with Sam," the Asian boy chimed.

"Well, the sot has spoken! What happens to him is not truly your concern. I will kill him. And remember this: _NEVER _forget this! When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy _brandy_! And _YOU," _he continued, addressing Sam, the blonde._ "_Friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless. Do you want me to send you back to where you were? An unemployed stripper? In _Kentucky_?"

Over these few weeks of being a crew, the Asian boy, known as Mike, and Sam had grown to be quite good friends. It was never fair that their leader was constantly yelling at them. Mike had learned the secret to cheering Sam up when times got rough. A good 'ol rhyming game to ease the tension.

"That Sebastian, he can _fuss_," said Mike.

"Fuss...fuss...think he like to scream at _us_," responded Sam.

"Probably he means no _harm_."

"He's really really short on..._charm_"

"You've a great gift for rhyme."

"Yes, yes, some of the time."

"Enough of that!" yelled Sebastian, annoyed already.

"Sam, are there rocks ahead?"

"If there are, we'll all be dead!"

"No more rhymes now, I mean it!" demanded their leader.

"Anybody want a peanut?"

"Argh!"


	3. Chapter 3

_His love was stronger than the power so dark,__  
__A prince could have within his keeping..._

The boat of miscreants and the prince sailed on through the night. The moonlight reflecting off the dangerous waters was their only source of light.

The four had been quiet for a while now, not quite knowing what to say.

"We'll reach the cliffs by dawn," Sebastian mentioned, according to his calculations.

Sebastian noticed Mike glancing back behind their boat.

"Why are you doing that?" Sebastian asked with an irritated tone.

"Making sure no one is following us," Mike replied.

"That would be inconceivable," Sebastian told him. He had absolutely nothing to fear.

"Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, the Prince will see you all hanged," said Kurt. Even though he very much disliked Karofsky, Kurt knew the Prince would come to his rescue. He was not worried. Well, maybe a little.

"Of all the necks on this boat Highness, the one you should be worrying about is your own," threatened Sebastian. Kurt couldn't help but wonder if this guy was just all talk. Regardless, he didn't press on the subject any longer.

Mike's glances were becoming more frequent and, to Sebastian, more annoying.

"Stop _doing_ that. We can all relax, it's almost over."

"You're sure no one would follow us?"

"As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Westerville knows what we've done, and no one in Lima could have gotten here so fast... Out of curiosity, why do you ask?"

"No reason. Suddenly, I just happen to look behind us and something is there."

"What?!" Sebastian shot up like a lightning bolt and ran to get a better look.

Mike was correct.

A boat similar to there own was following them.

"Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night," reasoned Sebastian, "Through eel infested waters..."

Then all they heard was a big _SPLASH_.

Kurt had thrown himself overboard. He seriously had to get away from these lunatics. And if there was someone coming to rescue him in that mysterious boat, he would swim to them, even if it killed him.

"Go in! Get after him!" Sebastian ordered his crew.

"I don't swim," said Mike.

"I only dog-paddle," Sam told him.

"Gahhhh!" Sebastian had had just about enough of these idiots. Did he have to do everything himself? That's why he hired lackeys in the first place. "Veer left! Left! Left!" Sebastian and Sam rushed to the side of the boat trying to spot Kurt in the water. They needed Kurt if this plan was going to work.

Kurt swam for his life. He swam faster and faster, but then stopped. He heard something. A strange and unnerving kind of shriek he'd never heard before. Kurt looked around for where it could have came from...

"You know what that sound is Highness?" Sebastian called out to him. "Those are the shrieking eels. If you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh."

The moment he said 'human flesh', the biggest and scariest looking creature swam inches in front of Kurt. He gasped loudly. A shrieking eel.

It was hideous and frighting to look at. Though it only had slits for eyes, shrieking eels can smell its prey unbelievably well. Its teeth were sharp as knives and without hesitation, would rip him to shreds.

"You swim back now, I _promise_ no harm will come to you. I doubt you'll get such an offer from the eels."

Then, Kurt froze at the sight of it:

One of the the shrieking eels was charging him.

It felt like everything was happening in slow motion. He was seconds before death, witnessing his life flash before his eyes, and a vision of his lost love, Blaine graced his memory.

I'll be with you soon, farm boy, thought Kurt as he braced himself for his impending death.

Kurt's eyes were closed, but all he heard was a _CLUNK._

It seemed that Sam had bopped the eel on the head and lifted Kurt up into the boat to safety.

"Put him down. Just put him down!" Sebastian commanded.

Kurt could not believe he was still alive.

"I think he's getting closer," Mike mused, referring to the strange boat that was gaining behind them.

"He's no concern of ours. Sail on!" Sebastian ordered. "I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?" Now speaking to Kurt, clearly miffed by this whole predicament.

"Only compared to some," Kurt replied, still a little frightened and out of breath.

It was now becoming morning, as the sky turned orange. The wind was giving off a refreshing breeze and the waves were pulling the crew closer to their destination.

"Look! He's right on top of us!" called Mike, controlling the mast. "I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using."

"Whoever he is, he's too late!" shouted Sebastian, pointing at a massive cliff. "See! The Cliffs of Insanity! Hurry up. Move the thing. And that other thing! Move it!" he gestured to random parts of the boat, obviously not knowing their function.

The boat pulled up next to the insanely large cliff. The mysterious boat that was following them was still hot on their trail.

"We're safe," said Sebastian. "Only Sam is strong enough to go up our way. He'll have to sail around for hours 'til he finds a harbour."

Kurt noticed the impossibly long rope that hung from the cliff. How convenient...he thought to himself.

Mike helped Sam put on a special vest that had three harnesses attached to it. Then he made sure Kurt, Sebastian and himself were securely fastened to it. Kurt looked up. That is one daunting cliff, he thought. Sam started to climb the rope. His strength was certainly incredible, but one slip up? Death for sure. Kurt shut his eyes tight and held onto Sam for dear life.

Meanwhile, the mysterious boat was pulling up next to the insanely large cliff, just as the crew had done before. Stepping off of the boat was a man dressed in navy blue. A mask covered his honey coloured eyes.

The man in navy immediately started climbing the rope.

"He's climbing the rope," Mike said looking down. "And he's gaining on us."

"Inconceivable," Sebastian remarked. Who was this masked stranger? Why was he so dead set on catching up to them? "Faster!"

"I thought I was going faster," said Sam.

"You were supposed to be this colossus. You were this great, legendary thing, and yet he gains."

"Well, I'm carrying three people. And he got only himself."

"I do not accept excuses. I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all."

"Don't say that, Sebastian. Please."

The man in navy was very close behind them. A nervous Sebastian was quick to notice.

"Did I make it clear your _job_ is at stake?"

Finally, they had reached the top of the Cliffs of Insanity. The moment Sebastian touched the ground, he ran to the rock that the thick rope was tied around. Desperately, he began to cut the rope with his knife. And then- the last strand broke.

The last of the rope slid over the side of the cliff.

Surely the stranger had dropped to his death.

Mike and Sam leaned over the edge only to find that the man in navy was still hanging on to the cliff!

"He's got very good arms," observed Sam.

"He didn't fall?" asked a very irritated Sebastian. "Inconceivable!"

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means," said Mike. "My God. He's climbing."

"Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the prince and must therefore, die. You, carry him. We'll head straight for the Westerville frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword."

"I'm going to do him left handed."

"You know what a hurry we're in!"

"It's the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right, over too quickly."

"Oh, have it you're way."

Sam patted Mike on the shoulder. "You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted." He wondered if he would see his friend again. Yes, of course he would, he thought. Many people, including Sam himself, have seen that when Mike fences, it's like he is dancing. A dance of death.

"I'm _WAITING."_ shouted Sebastian impatiently.

Sam took Kurt's arm and caught up with Sebastian. Mike was left waiting for the stranger to climb up over the cliff. He leaned over the cliff to see what was taking him so long.

"Hello, there," he said, giving a wave. "Slow going?"

"Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me," replied the man in navy.

"Sorry."

"Thank you."

Mike pulled out his sword and began practicing a couple moves. Soon, he grew impatient. He wanted to test out his new opponent. Mike went back and leaned over the cliff again.

"I do not suppose you could speed things up?" he asked.

"If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch or find something useful to do," the man in navy told him.

"I will do that. I have some rope up here, but I don't think you would accept my help since I am only waiting around to kill you. "

"That does put a damper on our relationship."

"But, I promise not to kill you until you reach the top."

"That's _very_ comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait."

"I hate waiting. I could give you my word as an Asian."

"No good. I've known too many Asians."

"Is there anyway you'll trust me?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"I swear on the soul of my father, Michael Chang Sr., you will reach the top alive."

The man in navy could see the truth in Mike's eyes.

"Throw me the rope."


End file.
